


blue

by kaywasnotfound



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: College/Uni AU, Dorm Rooms, M/M, a bit of dnf and skephalo, he just doesn't want to, he uses colors to indicate how he's feeling, karl can talk, only sapnap has heard his voice, platonic everything else, platonic karlnap at first but eventually they kiss, schlatt's a bit of an asshole and slightly bullies karl but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaywasnotfound/pseuds/kaywasnotfound
Summary: karl has always used colors to communicate with sapnap. other than a bit of sign language here and there, it's either colors to tell sap his feelings, or sometimes, he might even say a word or two - but it was only ever heard by sapnap.orkarl only talks to one person; the others want to hear his voice too.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 47
Kudos: 265





	1. blue/purple/brown.

**Author's Note:**

> don't show this to any ccs; hope you all enjoy :))
> 
> this will be taken down if asked by any ccs, no questions asked; this is simply fiction, no more, no less.

karl has always used colors to communicate with sapnap. other than a bit of sign language here and there, it's either colors to tell sap his feelings, or sometimes, he might even say a word or two - but it was only ever heard by sapnap.

karl trusted sapnap. it wasn't that he didn't trust his other friends, but he only felt comfortable with sapnap hearing his voice. he didn't exactly know why - he thought to himself that it was selective mutism which meant that he only talked to certain people that he truly trusted, but at the same time, he didn't want to self diagnose. the others knew that karl didn't talk much, only to sapnap, so dream wasn't surprised when he took a seat next to karl in class one day. "hey, karl!" he says, smiling. karl looks to his left and smiles back as he sees dream sitting there in the desk beside him; he waves politely before looking back down at his work and continuing to write down his notes. they were all currently in math class, and karl knew he had a test coming up soon so he wanted to get notes for him to study.

"how are you?" dream asks, but he suddenly frowns to himself, "wait.. shit, sorry, i- i forgot you-" he cuts himself off when karl raises a brow and shakes his head, holding up a finger to tell dream to give him a second as he reaches into his backpack, pulling out cards that he'd colored himself. it was dream's turn to raise a brow now, and karl hums, grabbing a pen he had nearby. he writes down something that dream couldn't see just yet, but he knew karl was writing something on the cards. on the blue card, he wrote _happy_ , on the red card he wrote _angry_ , and it kept going from there; green? _sad_. purple? _tired._ yellow? _excited._ and finally, brown was _anxious_. karl finishes writing before holding up the blue and purple cards, indicating that he was-

"happy.. and tired?" dream asks. karl smiles and nods once again, stacking the cards and safely putting them back into the folder that was inside his backpack. he points at dream now, a questioning look on his face. it took dream a second before he realizes, "oh, how am i?" karl nods, "you're asking- hm, well.. i'm kind of tired myself, but overall i'm happy." he smiles back at karl. the older boy nods at that and then gets back to his work, picking up his pencil and continuing to take notes. seconds later, the teacher stands and looks at the clock behind himself; "you're all free to go," he says. everyone immediately starts to pile out of their seats, almost like a tsunami as they all gently push and shove to get out of the classroom. but for some reason, karl is the only one who stays. "don't forget the test on monday! have a good weekend!" mr. smith calls. he smiles as everyone leaves before raising a brow as he looks at karl.

"hey, karl," he says as he takes a seat in the desk that dream was sitting in earlier. karl looks up at him just as he'd done dream; he smiles, waves slightly, and then gathers his things to get ready to go. "hey, are you okay?" mr. smith asks him. the smile stays on karl's face even though he doesn't look up this time, and he nods again as he stuffs his papers inside his folder. his folder goes back inside his backpack, and he waves at mr. smith again as he leaves the room and walks down the hallway to leave the building. it was friday, and he was happy; he was looking forward to getting back to his dorm room, cuddling with sapnap (they weren't in a relationship, but they still cuddled), and taking a nap.

he was almost to the doors; just a few more steps, and-

karl gasps softly as he feels himself get shoved against the lockers right near him. he gulps as he sees someone standing over him - he knew that face anywhere. "hey, uh.. what was your name again? cameron? caden? something along those lines, right?" _it's karl_ , karl thinks, but he couldn't get the words out - _he didn't want to_. schlatt wasn't sapnap. he didn't deserve to hear karl's voice. "ohh, i forgot.. you only talk to.. snapmap? whatever his name was.." schlatt smirks slightly, and karl just cowers back a bit more. "what's the matter? too quiet to stand up to someone like me? am i too manly for you?" schlatt teases, "i keep forgetting you can't speak..." schlatt trails on about something else, and karl just averts his gaze down to the floor instead as he thinks. _how the fuck do i get out of this situation? i think if i just leave him alone and let him babble, he'll leave me alone and i can go... oh gosh, i hope he doesn't ask me to-_ his thoughts are cut off as he hears schlatt say those dreadful words he'd heard from so many others, for so many years.

"say something out loud and i'll leave you alone."

karl looks back up at schlatt, pushing himself a bit more against the locker and taking a big risk as he shakes his head. schlatt's smirk drops, and his brow raises. "did you just shake your head no at me?" he asks. karl stays silent, of course, but he takes another risk. he nods. "huh.. so you can communicate in some way, huh?" schlatt smirks slightly again, pushing himself away from the lockers and chuckling. karl stays where he was beforehand, watching as schlatt shakes his head fondly; "you're somethin' else, karl jacobs," he says. _so you do remember my name_.. karl thinks. "hey, i'm having a party tomorrow night.. expect you to be there," schlatt announces before he turns and walks off, but not before yelling over his shoulder - "9pm sharp!"

karl watches him walk away a few more steps before he pushes himself away from the locker and runs off, exiting the main building and running straight for the dorms. he smiles apologetically at a few people he slightly bumps into, and some of them - already knowing who he was - give him soft smiles back to let him know it was fine. he appreciated that. he reads the room numbers in his head as he always does before he finally makes it to his own room, after taking the elevator as well; _206_ , that was his and sapnap's shared room. he was happy that he and sapnap shared the room together.

he jiggles the doorknob, finding it to be locked, and he raises a brow at that before shrugging it off and taking his keys out of his pocket, putting the right one into the doorknob and unlocking it. the door was usually only locked when it was night time, when karl and sap wanted privacy (whether it was one of them or both of them), and/or when they were out of the room and nobody was in it. they didn't need another schlatt situation happening (thankfully it was about a year and a half ago that he broke into their room, thinking it was his own because he was drunk, but karl and sapnap still wanted to stay safe anyway.) karl closes the door behind him, tossing his keys onto his bed before he looks at sapnap's bed. he raises a brow as he notices that he wasn't there, so he just figured that the door was locked since nobody was in the room. he leaves it unlocked for when sapnap would get back - whenever that would be - and he takes a seat on his bed, taking out his notebook to open it up and study his math notes since he'd spent most of his last class taking the notes instead.

he grabs his phone from his bag as well, plugging his earbuds in and putting both of them in his ears as well before he turns on sweater weather. he smiles a bit at the song as he listens and studies his math, getting so immersed into both that he didn't even see or hear the door to his room open. "hey, karl!" sapnap says, smiling brightly. he closes the door behind him, raising a brow as he doesn't hear karl's voice like usual - and karl always talked after sapnap confirmed that he was the only one coming into the room. "karl?" sapnap calls, humming. "pandas," he says suddenly. pandas was the word to indicate that he was there without anyone else - someone like dream, george, etc. "sweater" indicated that he had someone with him. "kaaaaaaaarl?" he drags out his name as he speaks now before he chuckles a bit as he realizes that karl had his earbuds in, and therefore he couldn't hear sapnap. the younger male takes a seat on the floor in front of karl, gently dragging a finger up his leg. karl kicks his leg out a bit, brows furrowing as he felt something tickle his leg, but he didn't realize anything - or any _one_ \- was there, at least until he looked down. his eyes widened and he jumped back a bit, back gently hitting the wall from how far he went as he pulls his earbuds out and glares at sapnap once he heard his oh so familiar laughter from the floor. karl pauses his music and wraps his earbuds around his phone, setting the device on his table before he closes his notebook and tosses it on the bed next to him. he then looks down at a still laughing sapnap, rolling his eyes playfully and snapping his fingers twice - pandas and sweater both had two syllables within them, so that was how karl silently asked for confirmation before he talked. pandas was a part of sapnap's old ign, and sweater was just something that karl came up with himself since sweaters kept him warm.

"what?" sapnap looks up from the floor after his laughter finally dies down, and karl snaps his fingers again before sapnap remembers. "oh! oh, pandas. you're fine," he confirms. karl then slides down onto the floor beside sapnap, and he sighs. "honk off, sapnap," he mumbles, still being a bit mad about the joke the younger had just pulled. that alone sends sapnap spiraling into more laughter, and karl rolls his eyes playfully again, pouting and crossing his arms as well. "aw, c'monnn," sapnap drags out the 'n' in the second word, "it was just a little joke, don't be all pouty," he sits up fully and scoots over to karl, wrapping an arm around him, karl's head immediately falls to rest on sapnap's shoulder, and his pretend pout goes away as he uncrosses his arms and puts his hands in his own lap instead. "oh, so you're not mad at me anymore?" sapnap jokes, earning a smack to the thigh from karl; "shut up," he jokes with a giggle. sapnap chuckles again.

"so.. how are you? blue, purple? brown?" karl loved that sapnap had memorized each color and each mood, even before karl had made the indication cards. karl hums, "all three.. blue and purple, but.. a bit of brown." the brown - anxious - was because of schlatt and the situation that happened earlier. "brown? what happened?" sapnap raises a brow. karl sighs, cuddling into sapnap more before he hums again, "s-schlatt... pushed me against the lockers. he didn't do anything, i thought he'd hit me or something because of how hard he did it, but he just.. he just pretended to forget my name, called you snapmap, kind of made fun of how i only talk to you, which is for good reasons to not have to talk to assholes like him.." he mumbled that part under his breath. "but, then he just said he's having a party tomorrow night and he _expects_ me to be there at 9pm when it starts or something," karl explains. sapnap had listened to it all, not cutting him off once, and he sighs at the end of karl's explanation; "wow... well, at least he didn't hit you, i would've-" karl cuts him off with, "-smacked the honk out of him, i know," he giggles.

"well, yeah," sapnap chuckles, "but realistically, if i would've even been near you, he would've never pushed you into the lockers. trust me." karl nods, "i know." he sighs softly, the sigh fading out into a small yawn. "purple?" sapnap whispers, and karl nods, "more purple than before.. can we cuddle?" karl whispers, not showing it on the outside because he was tired, but on the inside, he was more than excited to be cuddling with sapnap again. though, it was almost as if karl's heart broke in half as sapnap gently rubs his arm and says, "i can't.. i'm going out for a bit with dream and george.." karl looks up at him and pouts, "but.. pleeease? can we at least watch a movie until i fall asleep..?" karl whispers, and sapnap couldn't possibly say no to that face. "of course we can do that.. i'll raincheck those plans until after you fall asleep, is that okay?" sapnap asks. karl nods, a bit too tired now to properly answer, but sapnap knew it was alright anyway since karl had nodded regardless of words.

he stands and gently pulls karl up with him, moving them both over to karl's bed and taking karl's notebook, sliding it into his backpack for now. he lets karl lay down first, taking a seat and laying down next to him. he turns the tv on and turns on the movie he was watching earlier on netflix - the secret life of pets 2, because why not? karl nuzzles his head into sapnap's neck, sighing in content as his tired eyes watch the screen in front of him, the pets moving around and talking in the animation, and karl lets out a small, tired giggle at that. sapnap looks down at him and smiles too, gently running his fingers through karl's hair. only seconds later, he notices that karl was asleep. he presses a light kiss to his forehead, and he wasn't entirely sure, but he thought he saw karl smile just the slightest bit in his probably light (for now) slumber. sapnap gently moves karl away, turning the tv off and helping karl to get underneath his blankets before he grabs the room key (there were two hanging on a hook just beside the door in the room; both of them were on keychains, one with the letters KJ engraved into it for karl's initials and the other one having the letter NA for sapnap's initials. his real name was nick, but he usually only went by sapnap.

karl sleeps soundly as sapnap leaves the room, locking the door behind himself and knowing that karl would be safe. he knew karl was blue - _happy_ \- and probably currently more dark purple than regular purple - _more extremely tired than just a bit_ \- so he didn't worry too much. granted, he still worried though - he always did.

 _especially after the accident_.


	2. green/hint of brown.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karl woke up, feeling green - sad - because sapnap wasn't back yet. green as well as a bit brown - sad as well as anxious - because he just wondered where he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠ tw for r@pe in this chapter - no graphic depictions, simply just a "flashback" type of format.
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

karl rubs the sleep from his eyes as he wakes up hours later, raising a brow at how dark the room was. he bites his lip as he sits up slowly, feeling around to his left and eventually pulling the chain on the lamp that sat on his bedside table, watching as light engulfed the whole room, making his shoulders fall slightly as he relaxes. he was tense before, having only been in complete darkness like this when sapnap was around... wait a minute.

 _where the honk is sapnap?_ he thinks to himself, holding back a giggle at how even his thoughts didn't swear. he looks back at his table and grabs his phone, unravelling his earbuds from around it and pushing the blanket off of his body more as he swings his legs over the bed, unlocking his phone - he'd hoped to see something, _anything_ from sapnap - but he saw nothing. no texts, calls, anything. normally, karl would find it normal - he was probably busy with his and karl's other friends like he'd said, but it was different this time. so different that karl's eyes almost popped out of their sockets once they widened when he checked the time. _when did it become 10pm?_ he thinks to himself. sapnap had only left earlier, and it was about 2:45 around the time he left.. _he's been gone for 8 and a half hours?_ karl frowns at that.

he knew sapnap would probably be gone a bit long, but he'd never been gone this long, with or without karl. the older male frowns a bit more, going straight to his contacts and calling sapnap. almost immediately, the _brrrrrrrrrrr_.. sound appeared in karl's ear, indicating that the phone was ringing, at least. but will he ever pick up? karl thinks. he almost had hope, frown upturning into a smile as he heard the phone stop ringing and the call picks up - but his frown immediately appears again once he heard, _"hey, it's nick, sapnap, pandas.. whatever. i'm probably not on my phone, so just shoot me a message, i'll answer whenever i see it."_ it was his voicemail message. karl frowns even more than before, sighing. he tries once again, getting the same voice - it was sapnap's, yes, but it was through a phone. he didn't want that - he wanted sapnap _there_. in the room. with him. he decides to text him a few times as well, biting his lip as a bit of brown mixes in with his already green mood - _anxiousness mixing in with sadness_.

 **honk boy** : _sap, where are u? i miss u :(_

 **honk boy** : _pls respond when u get this.. hint of brown n green :(_

he knew that sapnap knew what it meant. a hint of anxiousness and sadness.

his heart almost flew out of his chest in major yellow - _excitement_ \- when he got a response almost immediately.

 **sappy nappy** : _hey, didn't know u were up yet. stuck w dream n george in traffic, sorry :( be back soon, promise <3_

 **honk boy** : _is that why you didn't answer when i called?_ karl sends back. he watches as the dots - the indication that sapnap was typing - appear, and disappear. appear, and disappear once again. _he hated it_.

 **honk boy** : _sap?_

 **honk boy** : _sapnap?_

 **honk boy** : _nick?_

 **honk boy** : _nick, please_ answer

when he didn't get an answer immediately, his mind flipped to the worst. to the old story. to _the accident_.

images suddenly flash within his mind, he remembers them all so clearly. karl hears sapnap's screams of terror, as well as his own.. he remembers cowering back in the corner in fear, hiding and shivering behind a dumpster in the dark alleyway where he'd been after... _everything_... and where sapnap had found him. karl hated it so much - _the fact that the accident was how he and sapnap had met for the first time_. thankfully, sapnap knew karl was too drunk before karl knew it himself. he watched the guy casually drag karl out of the bar that night, karl just slightly stumbling along. he was a lightweight, so he got drunk easily off of the three shots he'd downed, but he started to sober up just as quickly - and so the accident happened _just as_ he started to sober up. _and god, if only sapnap would've gotten there just a minute earlier, **just a minute**_... maybe it would've never happened.

karl was snapped out of his thoughts as he feels a hand touch his shoulder, and he gasps loudly, slapping the hand away immediately and scratching at it a bit too, hearing a voice but not being able to register it right away. "karl- hey, what's wrong? karl?!" he hears his name being called, and he knows the voice now but he can't calm down; by this point, he's slapping and scratching at the air, tears blurring his vision as he cries. "sapnap? sapnap?! get in here!" the voices are getting slightly muffled as karl continues to slap at the air slightly, slowing down a bit but he was still crying. he hears footsteps running towards him and he screams, scratching at someone again as they grab him. he whimpers a bit, suddenly gasping softly as he hears a soft voice whisper in his ear; _"violet."_ that was more than enough for him to fall safely into what he finally knew was sapnap's embrace. he cuddles close to him, hearing george's voice now as he asks, "should we.. should we leave?" he was only trying to be respectful

"nah, you guys are fine.. i mean, you can leave if you want, but he just needs a minute. sweaters," sapnap whispers the last word down into karl's ear, letting him know that he couldn't talk yet. he knew that karl didn't want the others hearing his voice yet. "violet" helped karl as well - it was another color, it meant safe. karl hadn't made a card for that yet, but he knew he'd eventually get around to doing it if he wanted. he turns and looks up at dream and george now, smiling a bit sadly at them and waving. he hums as he almost opens his mouth to speak, but he looks back at sapnap instead. "hm?" sapnap hums. karl taps sapnap's ear. smiling as he leans down just a bit so that karl could whisper something. george and dream both raise a brow before karl pulls away, moving to sit beside sapnap now, and sapnap looks back up at the two standing near the bed. "he says sorry that you had to see him like that. he knew we were stuck in traffic, but he didn't know my phone died, so he panicked a bit," sap explains. karl looks at him apologetically, having had no idea for obvious reasons that sapnap's phone had died. "i was almost home so that's why i didn't try to call you off one of their phones.. but i'm here now. i'm safe... it's kinda late, but you napped earlier, yeah? let's go get some food, i know a restaurant that's still open on campus," sapnap suggests. karl nods, dream and george verbally agreeing before sapnap leaves his phone on the charger, telling karl to bring his instead. all three of them wait for karl to put on his jacket and shoes, and then they all leave the room to go to the restaurant close to the dorm building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my twitter's www.twitter.com/kaythelovewitch if you wanna follow it 🤠
> 
> also this is a bit short, my bad 🤣 more will probably be coming tomorrow!


	3. yellow/brown/blue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sapnap, karl, dream and george get to the restaurant on campus, having a good night together. karl was yellow - excited - since he hadn't been to a café in quite a bit, having not really had the time to go out.
> 
> but what does karl do when the waitress comes up to the table, and sapnap is gone to the bathroom?
> 
> (something happens near the end ;) IT'S A GOOD THING, PROMISE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there; new chapter for everyone! sorry this took too long, i was at my dad's on saturday and sunday and then i had some school stuff to do, blah blah, boring stuff lol. anyways, hope you enjoy :)

"oh shut the fuck up, you _totally_ slept with jenny," sapnap says to dream as he walks with him, george and karl to the café, thankfully not having to drive anywhere since the administrators had been smart enough to have a few booths around the campus since most people sat and/or ate outside during the mornings, during lunch, or if they just didn't have class that day. " _you_ shut the fuck up, man, i.... may or may not have a long time ago, but-" sapnap's loud cheering and george's laughing overpowered dream's words as he continues to talk, saying "that doesn't matter!" in he background, but sapnap wasn't listening to that. the sound and laughter finally died down as they all got to the café, dream holding the door open for the other three and then walking in himself, letting it close behind him as he follows the others to a table. "alright, so we gotta decide what we want," he says once he takes a seat, everyone picking up the menus that were conveniently left there by the last people who'd just left earlier.

dream, george and karl open and look at their menus while sapnap gently taps karl's arm; the older male looks up, smiling at sapnap who generously smiles back. "watch my phone for a second?" he asks as he hands karl his phone before he could answer, karl taking it anyway. he gently shakes his arms, letting his sweater paws fall down his wrist to show his hands quickly; "where are you going?" he signs, sapnap just shaking his head a bit; "just to the bathroom, i'll be right back, okay?" he smiles down at karl, gently grabbing his hand and reassuringly squeezing it before he stands and leaves the table, going to the bathroom. karl blushes, the blush still apparent on his face as sapnap leaves. his hand was still gently tingling and he didn't know why - there's no way he was that touch starved, he and sapnap just cuddled ~~for barely ten minutes because karl fell asleep and sapnap left right afterwards~~ yesterday. he'd already decided what he'd wanted, having nodded at george seconds ago since he was sitting beside him on the outside of the booth, george being beside karl and across from dream while dream had been beside sapnap, and sapnap was across from karl before he went to the bathroom.

suddenly the waitress walks over, taking her pen from behind her ear and clicking it, moving it to the small notepad that she holds in her hand as she smiles brightly down at the three men sitting there. she gently pushes her pink hair behind her ear, her accent being a bit apparent in her voice as she spoke. "hi, what can i get you guys?" she asks politely. "hey, niki," dream smiles as he looks up at her and orders his food and drink, george smiling and doing the same. karl sat in silence for a bit as the other two stopped talking, and he eventually looked up to realize that niki was (still patiently and with a smile) waiting for him to tell her his order. karl and niki didn't know each other too well, so niki didn't know that karl only talked to sapnap - it'd be news to her if anyone did tell her. karl bites his lip before opening his mouth, but he immediately closes it and bites his lip again. his nose gently stings as he feels like he could cry any moment, so at that point he was thankful that he was sitting on the outside of the booth and not the inside. he stands, flashing a small but genuinely apologetic at niki as he gently bumps into her lightly. "wait, where are you-?" she cuts herself off as karl leaves the café, looking around just a bit before finding the fountain that was in the middle of the campus. he frowns as he goes behind it, taking a seat on the bench that was on that side so that he was unseen by the others in the café, knowing that nobody else was out right now so he thankfully didn't have to hide from anyone else.

"what was that about?" niki asks dream, "i mean, it's not really my business, but i just wanna make sure he's okay," she hums. "i think he just had to step out, he might be back.. you know sapnap, right?" dream asks. niki nods, "yeah, uh.. i think wil talks about him sometimes," she says. wil - wilbur - was her best friend, so she'd only really heard of sapnap from him whenever they hung out. "well, karl - who just.. ran out," dream looks behind himself and outside, trying to see if he could spot karl, but all he really saw was darkness. "..basically, he only ever talks to sapnap when they're alone. i guess sap's just his comfort person so he only feels comfortable talking to him, which is understandable," dream explains. niki just nods, looking over as well as dream and george both do as they hear the main bathroom door close. "hey, sorry i was.. dream?" sapnap says, looking around in confusion. "hm?" dream replies, acting dumbfounded as if he had no idea what had just happened. he yelps quietly as george kicks his shin underneath the table, glaring at him a bit. "uh, well.." george kicks him again; "OW! okay, okay, i'm sorry. niki came over to take our orders, and we were both fine, but then she needed to take karl's order and he just froze up for a bit and then got up and left," dream says, slightly all in one breath as he lets out a heavy sigh after that.

"and you didn't try to stop him?!" sapnap asks sternly, not yelling as he wasn't necessarily mad, more so just upset that the others didn't try to calm karl down or something. "fuck.. niki, take my menu and just take their orders instead, please, i'm gonna go try and find karl. and," sapnap pauses, tossing his card on the table, "whatever the food comes out to, pay with my card and give it back to me later," he says before he quickly leaves the café, going to try and find karl. he huffs, rubbing his hands together gently as it was a bit cold outside and he was trying to get warm. "fuck, where is he..?" he asks no one in particular, more so thinking out loud to himself as he walks around. "they tried their best, i hope they know it.." he whispers in reference to dream, george and niki, hoping they were all aware that they'd done whatever they could for karl before he'd randomly ran out, just needing some air more than likely. sapnap looks around a bit more before he thinks properly about it - _fountain_. karl loves the fountain, it's where he and sapnap would usually sit together during the day or night.

sapnap's thoughts and questions are answered as he rounds the corner near the fountain, and he could recognize the bright colors of that hoodie anywhere at anytime. "pandas," he whispers out, loud enough so that only he and karl could hear. the older boy jumps slightly and snaps his head over, shoulders immediately relaxing as he sees sapnap standing there. "karl, why-" he cuts himself off as karl jumps up and engulfs sapnap into a hug, burying his head against sapnap's shoulder and gently inhaling the scent of his hoodie. he sighs heavily in content after that, sapnap gently picking him up and karl yelping lightly in surprise before he just hums, cuddling closer to sapnap. he feels the younger male sit down on the bench he was just on, and sapnap gently starts to rub his back as well. karl sighs heavily at that, loving the feeling.

"karl.. how-" sapnap cuts himself off when karl sniffles, sighing again but more shakily this time; "i- i was feeling yellow earlier, but.. brown now," he whispers. excited, but now anxious. "i just.. i wish i could talk to more people without getting scared. not that i don't love talking to only you, i just.." karl trails, and sapnap picks up with, "feel like you're gatekeeping it? i promise you're not, you just feel comforted around me and that's okay," sapnap reassures him. karl looks up at him, smiling through just a bit of tears now. he nods, "i do feel comforted around you, you're right.. plus since no one else can hear me," karl pauses as he moves his arms away but he stays in sapnap's lap, now wiggling his fingers for dramatic effect, "it adds onto the _mystery_ ," he giggles. sapnap chuckles as well, suddenly gasping as he hears karl let out a small yelp. sapnap's hands grip a bit tighter onto karl's waist as he pulls him back up, the older male having started to tip backwards and had almost fallen to the ground. "th-thanks.." karl blushes, resting his hands on sapnap's shoulders and gently tightening his grip so that he wouldn't go anywhere this time. he suddenly starts to giggle, "that was funny.." he whispers, sapnap chuckling softly as well and smiling as he finally sees karl smile again. he'd been smiling earlier of course, but after something like this had happened (again because this wasn't the first time), sapnap was just happy to see karl happy - it was all he wanted.

the giggles and chuckles both die down as soon as they'd started, and it was silent once again other than karl and sapnap's soft breathing and heartbeats syncing together. they didn't notice it at first, but they were staring into each others' eyes, getting lost in them. and they didn't notice it at all after that, but they were now leaning in. karl feels sapnap's hand gently come up to cup his cheek, and karl could've swore he heard both his and sapnap's heart skip a beat right then and there. he just wished they would've went a bit faster, because- " _there_ you guys are!" the two quickly jolt away, karl moving to sit beside sapnap instead of in his lap now, but he still rests his head on sapnap's shoulder. "sweaters," sapnap whispers down to karl before they both look up to meet dream's eyes as he and george stand there by the bench, staring down at both sapnap and karl. "me and george were looking for you and we just spotted you.. are we interrupting something?" dream asks. sapnap bites his lip and shakes his head, "not really, no," he says. dream and george both sigh in relief, "okay, good. we were just making sure-.. where's karl going?" george had spoken up now, and sapnap raises a brow, "what do you.." he trails as he looks beside himself and then forward, seeing karl storm off in the opposite direction of them all. "god d.. hey, uh- thanks for tonight, i had fun and i'm sure karl did too," sapnap says as he grabs his card from george's pocket, having spotted it there when he looked up the first time. he sends a friendly nod in both of their directions before he runs off in the other direction, trying to catch up to karl.

"karl?" he calls, seeing the older male in front of him and he tries moving faster as karl does the same, almost as if he was avoiding sapnap all of a sudden. "karl, where are you- karl, wait!" sapnap says, trying not to wake anyone else up as he sees karl take the elevator to get up to their room faster, and sapnap sighs heavily. he stuffs his card into his pocket as he realizes he was still holding it before he runs off to the stairs, having to run up 3 flights before he was at the 3rd floor, technically the 1st floor of the boys' dorms since the building was made so that the girls had two floors on the lower levels and the boys had two floors on the upper levels. he runs around a bit, not bothering to look at the room numbers as he knew by heart what his hallway looked like by now. he sees karl come up into the elevator, and he runs over, going to stand in front of the door before karl could walk over. the older boy huffs as he sees sapnap standing there, and he crosses his arms. "you gonna tell me what's wrong?" sapnap asks. karl points to the room, signing out, "at least let me in there first so we can talk." sapnap nods, turning around to unlock and open the door for them both. he walks in, karl following behind him, and karl goes to take a seat on his bed. sapnap closes the door and locks it, letting out a small, "pandas," as he tosses the keys on his bedside table. karl immediately stands; "not really?" he asks, " _not really_? you get asked if something was interrupted between us just then and you say _not really_?" karl asks. sapnap then understood what he'd done. "fuck, karl, i.. i'm sorry, i- i wasn't thinking, okay? i just..." he trails, not knowing the words. "you _just_.. what, sap? what is it?" karl asks, impatiently crossing his arms. when he gets no answer other than a shrug, he throws his arms in the air. "exactly! you don't even know! i thought we were having a moment there, we- we were about to _kiss_ , sapnap, for the first.. _honking_ time.." karl whispers. "karl, i-" karl cuts him off, "no. no, don't try to say sorry, don't hit me with the whole 'it would've been a secret' thing or something because you and i both know that dream and george were gonna forget about it if they saw us because we did the same damn thing for them, remember?"

"yeah, i-"

"and another thing, sapnap," karl cuts him off again, "i've been waiting almost forever to do that, i know you have too - we've _both_ been waiting forever so why didn't you just do it then? why didn't you pull me back in, why didn't you push them away from us? why-" karl cuts himself off now with a small, "mmph-!" as he feels lips against his own. he doesn't hesitate after that, wrapping his arms around sapnap's waist and sighing heavily in content as sapnap pulled him closer, their lips gently moulding together as they gently tilted their heads so that their noses didn't bump - at least not as much as they would've - and eventually they both pull away to take a breath. "why don't i just do it now?" sapnap whispers after that, and he smiles when karl blushes and giggles. "hey.. i'm sorry," sapnap whispers, gently moving his hand up to run his fingers through karl's hair, "i should've.. done better." karl shakes his head, "i shouldn't have ignored you on our way up here.. but then again, this might not have happened if i didn't," karl giggles again, now sighing as he pulls sapnap into a hug, burying his face into his shoulder. sapnap sighs heavily in content, smiling brightly to himself, knowing karl was smiling as well.

"karl?" sapnap whispers into karl's shoulder.

"sapnap?" karl whispers back.

"blue?" sapnap didn't even have to ask how he was feeling.

"blue.. very blue."

 _happy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't the end, don't worry! i think i'll do some more with this story, like exploring into karl and sapnap's new relationship and maaaaaybe adding a smut scene ;) lol but anyways, thank you for reading! this story blew up kind of quick and i honestly can't thank you all enough <3


	4. yellow/pink/orange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yellow, pink and orange. excited, safe, and cuddles (i made up the last two definitions for the colors). karl was very excited for too many reasons, one being that sapnap was with him - he was always excited when sapnap was around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyo, new chapter! took me a bit but i hope y'all like it anyway :D sorry it's out so so late, but i hope this is ok for now :)) more will come as soon as i can get it out!

karl stirs gently, humming quietly as he cracks one eye open slowly, yet he immediately regrets it as he squeezes _both_ of his eyes shut once again, the sunlight shining brightly - _too honking bright.._ karl thinks - into the window the next morning, and unfortunately right into karl's eyes just as he'd opened one. he shields his eyes with his forearm this time as he cracks both of his eyes open slowly, yawning softly and sighing heavily. he'd just lay back down for now, forgetting about anything else until later. it was, what, saturday? he'd be fine. but suddenly, he shoots back awake and jumps up, alerting the person the arms belonged to - _how long have these arms been around my waist?_ he asks himself, not even realizing who it was until- "jacobs..?" _sapnap?_ karl thinks, suddenly pouting a bit to show an apologetic look. he gently snaps his fingers twice, hearing sapnap utter out a soft, "pandas.." which karl just nods in response to. "i'm sorry for waking you, i didn't know we fell asleep together last night.." karl blushes now at the way he just realized he and sap had been cuddling, had slept together, tangled in each other's arms in the same bed, the entire night.

and then he remembers last night. he remembers running out of the café, he remembers sapnap finding him, he remembers being on the bench together behind the fountain, he remembers almost kissing sapnap and then he remembers when he _did_ kiss sapnap back in their room... he remembered everything.

"it's okay, you probably don't remember but we cuddled for a bit and then i put you in your bed, but you wanted me to stay so i did," sapnap hums.

okay, maybe karl _didn't_ remember everything. he must've been really tired.

"mm.. well, thank you for staying," karl whispers. "of course, you know i'll always stay with you," sapnap says. a light blush appears on karl's cheek, and he sighs as he buries his face back into sapnap's chest, smiling as he feels sapnap press a kiss into his hair. "so, i was thinking.." sapnap trails. "hm..?" karl hums as he pulls away and looks up, their eyes meeting and both of them smiling, "well, for starters i was thinking about how damn cute you are, jacobs." karl blushes again, "shut up," he giggles. "but really, what were you thinking?"

"well.. schlatt texted everyone and said he moved the party to tonight since a lot of people weren't able to make it last night-"

"oh _honk_ , i knew i was forgetting _something_ -"

 _"exactly._ so, how about we go?" sapnap proposes. karl bites his lip, "i.. i dunno, sap, there's gonna be a lot of people there, and.. and you might get too drunk-"

"i might get _drunk,_ but not _too_ drunk," sapnap says. "yeah, but that's exactly the point.. i _wanna_ go, i'd love to, but.." karl sighs. "hey, if you don't want to, that's fine. i won't go either then.. but i'm sure bad will be there taking care of skeppy, niki will be there for wil, george will probably be there for dream, if he's not drinking himself to death _with_ dream.." sapnap mutters the last part under his breath, "but that's not the point. what i mean entirely is that you'll have other people to be around, you feel safe around some of them, right? at least bad, you know bad would never do anything to judge or hurt you in any way," sapnap whispers, gently running his fingers through karl's hair.

karl bites his lip again, and he nods, "i know.. okay, i'll come with you. just... please don't get too drunk? i've... i've heard from some people that you get so drunk and end up hooking up with other people and i-"

"karl. _baby,_ "

baby? karl thinks.

"-you know i'd never do that to you. even if i get more drunk than wilbur, schlatt and a lot of others _combined_ , my mind will _never_ be that fucked that i'll leave you for someone else. you have my word on that, i promise you.. okay?"

karl nods almost immediately, smiling as he knew he could trust sapnap. "okay," he whispers. "good. now c'mon, it's pretty early, party doesn't start til 9 tonight so we can go out and do whateeeever we want," sapnap whispers. karl smiles, "okay.." he echoes from earlier, "but- wait," he says as he sees sapnap start to sit up so that he could stand, though he stops as karl spoke again. "hm?" sapnap lowers himself back onto the bed, and karl stares at him for a bit, causing sap to raise a brow. "..you okay, jacobs- _mmf_ -"

his words are cut off as karl gently presses his lips to sapnap's, the younger man immediately kissing back. his hand gently finds a way to karl's face, gently cupping his cheek, and karl's hand finds a way to sapnap's hair, gently carding his fingers through it. as he gently tugs at the soft brown locks, he swallows a soft groan that sapnap lets slip out into the kiss; they both pull away seconds after, gently panting since they hadn't come up for air in a bit. "wow.." sapnap whispers. "w-was that- was that good? or-"

"no, no, it was _incredible_ ," sapnap says. karl perks up a bit, smiling brightly at that; "really?" he whispers. sapnap nods, "really. you really took advantage there of me saying we could do whatever we want, hm?" sapnap whispers, caressing karl's cheek with his thumb. "honk off," karl jokes, giggling softly. sapnap chuckles lightly, "you're the cutest."

"no you," karl smiles. his eyes suddenly widen as he hears a slightly loud knock at the door, causing him to roll onto the floor from the bed since he'd jumped a bit and fallen back. "karl?" sapnap says as he jumps up, and karl waves him off, signing out _i'm fine_ while gently rubbing his side anyway. sapnap nodded before he went to unlock and open the door, revealing bad standing beside skeppy. "kitchen!" skeppy immediately darts past sapnap and into the room, jumping over karl who quickly goes to lay flat on the floor to prevent getting kicked, and sapnap and bad just share a confused look, as well as karl once he sits back up.

bad sighs; "i'm sorry for interrupting, but our kitchenette is a mess currently, nothing's working so there's someone set up to come by later to fix everything. skeppy's currently hyper because he wants me to make pancakes and, yeah.. i told him we could just go out but his exact words were "nononono i want yours," and here we are," bad explains. sapnap just chuckles and moves out of the way for bad to walk into the room, closing the door afterwards, "you're all good," he hums.

"thank you so much, sap. and hey, karl, sorry about hyperskep over here," bad giggles. "we'll buy new ingredients after using them, we promise-"

"i don't promise anything!" a voice yells from the kitchen. "now get your ass in here and make me some pancakes!" bad rolls his eyes and chuckles, "okay, number one, _language_ , and number two, how about a _please_?" bad says as he looks around for the things he needed to make homemade pancake batter. "oh, right... _please_ get your ass in here and make me some pancakes!"

"skeppy!"

sapnap shakes his head fondly as he reaches out to help karl up, "you know the drill," he whispers in his ear. karl nods, hiding the chill that sapnap's voice sent down his spine. karl was about to sign something, but he stops as he hears a bark from outside the door. "oh- that's probably rat," bad says, hearing another bark, "and rocco." rat and rocco were bad and skeppy's dogs who stayed in bad and skeppy's shared dorm room; it was perfect since pets were allowed, thankfully. sapnap opens the door and both pups come running into the room, sapnap almost tripping over rat as she runs between his legs once he goes back to karl's side. karl just smiles, taking a seat on his bed and signing _i'm getting hungry too._ "you want me to go and get you something? you could come with me if you don't wanna stay," sapnap says. karl thinks for just a second before he nods. he stands, just throwing on some socks and shoes as well as a jacket, sapnap doing the same; they both looked a bit silly in their pajamas, but sapnap pulled a hoodie over his head (as did karl) and they were both set from there. "hey bad!" sapnap calls. bad pokes his head into the main room from the kitchen, humming in response. "hold it down; karl and i are gonna head out to get some food. we know you're making pancakes, but i feel like skeppy might kill us if you make any more of them," sapnap jokes. bad chuckles, "alright, well be safe- geppy, you muffinhead! you got batter on my shirt!" bad sighs, "go on and have fun, guys, we'll be here."

"alright. c'mon," sapnap gestures to karl, the older man following as sapnap leaves the room, twirling his keys around his finger. "anything in particular that you want?" he asks as he looks over at karl, but the older was playing with his fingers, staring at the ground as he walked. "karl?" sapnap whispers, but he didn't get his attention quite yet.

"karl?" nothing.

"jaaaacooobs," sapnap drags out his last name. still nothing.

"karl jacobs." nothing once again.

_"baby."_

karl's head immediately snaps up to look at sapnap, he even stops walking, but he was still slightly playing with his fingers. sapnap smirks, "ah, you like when i call you baby, huh jacobs?" he winks. karl blushes, "m-maybe.." he whispers. "mhm, i know you do.. penny for your thoughts, babe?" sapnap hums as he and karl start to walk again. "mm, i'm just still thinking about the party tonight.. i'm sorry, it's just.. i'm still kinda iffy about going," he whispers. sapnap stops, and karl stops too; "hey, listen. i completely understand if you don't wanna go, okay? i won't ever force you into anything, no matter what it is. if you wanna stay here tonight and cuddle, watch movies with popcorn, have a whole pillow fight and have feathers flying everywhere, i don't care what we do, i just want you to be happy and feel safe," sapnap whispers, grabbing karl's hands in his own and gently kissing the backs of them both, "okay?" he whispers.

karl blushes, sighing heavily in content and gently pulling his hands away, pulling sapnap into a hug. "okay," he whispers softly into his ear. "good, now c'mon if you're hungry," sapnap smiles. karl smiles too, and they start to walk together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	5. red/green/brown/blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karl and sapnap get to the restaurant, going to eat in and get some pancakes for themselves; the waitress tries flirting with sapnap, and karl becomes red and green - angry and sad, as well as brown - anxious, because he wants to say something to her but he just can't bring himself to do so. eventually, he's blue - happy - again, when sapnap clarifies something for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyo, another chapter! hope y'all enjoy :]

sapnap lowers the melody in the car once he and karl pull into the parking area of the nearby ihop, sapnap having sung terribly (he wasn't trying anyway) at the top of his lungs while karl just recorded him and laughed every time he wasn't recording. "all right, so you want some pancakes and eggs?" sapnap confirms while parking and turning off the car. karl nods, smiling as sapnap lightly grabs his hand and presses a kiss to the back of it, smiling too; "well, good because I want the same." they leave the car after that, walking hand in hand to the ihop (sapnap held the door for karl, to which karl just playfully rolled his eyes and thanked him quietly), and they were escorted to a table, the host giving menus but they both declined since they already knew what they wanted. karl lightly taps his nails on the table, grabbing the concentration of sapnap away  from his phone; it smells like syrup in here, karl signs with a warm smile. the warm smile is exchanged, "yeah?"  sapnap whispers, finishing whatever he was doing before putting his phone away and gently grabbing karl's hand in his own, "i think it smells just like you, cutie," sapnap whispers.

a light redness brushes karl's cheeks tenderly, "shut up", he laughs before his eyes widen and he quickly snaps his head around, biting his lip hard to make sure no one had heard him. "hey, hey, you're fine, it was a little mistake," sapnap consoles, gently running his thumbs over the boy's knuckles. karl turns back to him and smiles - a little tense, but it was still there. he just nodded, and sapnap nodded too, "you're okay," repeats sap, reassuring karl even more. they talked about a few more things - sapnap doing the talking and karl signing, of course - before the waitress comes over and smiles down at them both.

  
  


she turns to sapnap first, and karl could immediately sense that something was going on, but he didn't want to assume anything. she asked sapnap for his order, and decided to bend on the table, her breasts almost directly in sapnap's face. and oh, you best believe, karl was boiling right then, yet he didn't risk to say anything - his death glare at the woman when she stood back up was enough to frighten her off, sapnap having already told her karl wanted the same thing. karl crosses his arms and lets out a little huff as he watches her walk away, swaying her hips almost as if she knew sapnap was observing her (even though he wasn't).

"karl? you okay?" sapnap asks. karl glances at him and then back towards the kitchen door where the waitress had disappeared into, flicking his eyes back and forth a few times despite sap's confused expression and raised eyebrow. karl just bites his lip a bit harshly and uncrosses his arms, slightly angrily signing out, _she was flirting with you, sap. i don't honking like that._ even by signing, he'd never cuss - but good lord was he currently close because of the earlier events. sapnap raises an eyebrow to that, "was she?" he asks cluelessly, turning his head to look at the kitchen door, "i didn't notice it," he shrugs. karl bites his lip once again, feeling brown now - anxious - because he wanted to tell the waitress something when he saw her come back with their drinks, but he couldn't say anything. instead, he leans back into his seat and crosses his arms, avoiding eye contact. sap frowns at that, beckoning the waitress to bend down slightly. she does, and karl's face turns a pink shadow of light anger as sapnap whispers in her ear; he just wanted sapnap all for himself and he knew that the younger man would never lie to him, but he almost couldn't bare the sight. she finally leaves, and sapnap almost knocks over his and karl's drinks (although he quickly evades them) as he stretches over to gently grab karl's hand.

the older man allows it, and his expression softens immediately as he sighs in contentment. "karl, look at me, love," sapnap whispers. karl immediately looks at sapnap, heart fluttering at his soft words and his soft tone. "i just asked her about it, she admitted to flirting. i'm sorry i didn't see it before, baby," sapnap apologizes. karl pulls his hand back to sign with them both, _it's okay, sap._ the younger's heart flutters now, and he smiles. "i told her to leave me alone politely, i didn't tell her that we were together in case you weren't comfortable with it yet, i promise." karl's eyes widened, but he could almost cry tears of joy. he signs out, _i love you so much and thank you, babe_. their food gets there soon enough after that, and they both eat, sapnap making fun jokes and karl letting out small giggles at them every now and then. they finish after a few minutes, still smiling as sapnap asks for the check. "do you need to wash your hands or anything? i dunno how much freedom we'll have at the dorm with bad and skeppy, no offense," he giggles, karl smiling at that. he eventually shakes his head, signing out a simple _i'll be fine_.

"sounds good to me. so, i was thinking.. we have all day off today, right? at least until we have to go to schlatt's party tonight.." sapnap reminds karl, the older nodding to let him know he could continue, "so i'm thinking that you and i go back to the dorm, politely kick bad and skeppy out if they're still there, and then.." sapnap pauses as he looks around a bit, a small smirk appearing on his face as he grabs karl's hand and gently intertwines their fingers. "we have... a movie marathon!" sapnap smiles brightly. karl stares blankly at him before putting his free hand over his mouth and giggling quietly. "what's so funny?" sapnap chuckles, and karl pulls his hand back to sign out,  _ i thought you were gonna suggest we have sex _ . sapnap blushes majorly, nervously scratching the back of his neck as he chuckles again, "mm, maybe some other time when we're both ready, y'know?" he suggests, and karl nods immediately, his giggles dying down as he signs,  _ of course, babe _ .

sapnap nods as well, paying the amount he needed to pay for the food before he and karl leave the restaurant, the sun gently blaring on them both as they get back into the car. karl hums quietly to a song that starts playing, and sapnap glances at him every now and then, smiling with admiration as he watches him sing along quietly, being able to see his lips move slightly as he sings. "you like this song?" sap asks. karl looks over at him and smiles, nodding as he turns it up.

_ even when the sun goes down, still know my world goes 'round _

"playin' bon iver on late night drives, my window, moon, and fireflies, holdin' on to moments that we found.. even when the sun goes down," karl sings along a bit louder for sapnap to hear him better now. he reaches out and turns the music back down a bit, looking over at sapnap and seeing the younger man turn his gaze back to the road, indicating that he was looking over at karl beforehand. "sneaking glanced at me over there?" karl giggles. sapnap shrugs, "maybe.. just looking at one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen," he smirks, rolling his eyes playfully as karl shoots back with, "you should look in the mirror then."

"i walked right into that one, didn't i?"

"yes, yes you did."

" _ anyways _ , ready to go have that movie marathon? skeppy and bad should've left and took rocco and rat by now so we have our dorm back hopefully," sapnap smiles. "yup!" karl smiles brightly.

sapnap glances at him again, holding his hand out for karl to take. the older grabs his hand, immediately intertwining their fingers, and he squeezes his hand, smiling when sapnap squeezes back. "hey sap?"

"hmm?"

"thank you."

"for what?"

karl sighs fondly, "everything, genuinely everything. you never have and never will fail to make me so grateful to have you in my life.." sapnap blushes, "you're such a sap. but i love you for it," he whispers. "you're the sap here,  _ sap _ nap," karl giggles, causing sapnap to playfully roll his eyes again as he knew he'd walked right into that one once again. "yeah, yeah. you love me too though, right jacobs?" he asks.

"i always have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> apparently blue is the color of silence, so that's why the story is named that :)


End file.
